"Legitimate rape," really?

Sometimes the media, politicians, or the public in general complain about the distractions that are intentionally used to take our focus off important matters. Matters that should be well covered in election campaigns. It seems to happen all the time. I would like to draw attention to one distraction that should be drawn, because it is very important for the present political environment. Usually I hate the distractions, but I see this as an important issue that needs to be brought out into the open. After one of the Republican Party faithful made an ignorant comment about rape, it set off a firestorm, detracting attention from the horrid economy. The issue is discussed in the video linked below. 

What the h*** did he just say?

I see this "distraction" as a way to get a very important issue out into the open, so there will be real discussion. Usually it would just be brushed under the carpet, like any other issue that politicians do not want to discuss. In my view, this should be taken out of the "distraction" category, and put in the "pressing issue of the day" category. 

Republicans like to say that democrats are just trying to distract us from the important matters of the tanked economy. The funny thing is they did not seem to be very concerned about the economy, outside the elections. Members of the Republican Party nationwide ran in 2010 on job creation, improving the ailing economy, and cutting spending. Yet they have focused, instead, on stripping women’s rights, cutting family planning funding, and other reproductive issues.  If the economy, and jobs were so vital for them, than surely they would have busted there rumps trying to fix these things. That has not happened at all. They have done anything they could to stonewall any legislation from the other side, on these issues. They have insisted on pushing legislation they know the other side will not agree on, and offer no real compromise. This tactic has intentionally barred any improvements from being made. That is why it is called stonewalling! 

So if they have done nothing to fix the economy, jobs, or anything like that, and have done everything to stop these very things, then what have they been doing? They had to be putting that energy into something, working towards some sort of accomplishments. Though you may believe that their only accomplishment has been to stop anything from coming through from the Democratic Party, you would be wrong. They have been working very hard, but not on what they claim the focus in this race (and the last race) should be on! They have been working at unprecedented rates on implementing, bills, legislation, and laws that strip rights women have worked long and hard to gain. Check this link to see some of the handy work in this issue. You can also take a look here, at this short article written back in April. Imagine how it is four months later! They have also worked very hard to de-fund and erode programs for family planning. So, while I do believe the economy and job creation are vital to getting our country back on its feet, I also believe we must take this issue, of the erosion of women's rights, very seriously! The comments that came out of Akin's mouth are reflective of the ideas and beliefs that are driving this push to erode reproductive rights. This issue is very important and needs to be discussed and brought out, in all its ugliness and all its distorted views. This is truly a necessary distraction!

If you want to comment, please do. There should be a link below that says, 1 comment, or something similar. I would like it to be easier to see all topic comments, but I haven't found an option on blogger to improve that. 

Get the door!

I want to write a lighter post today, since my head hurts and I don't really feel like talking about anything too heavy. Maybe I'll even take a little nap after this :-)

I wonder what it is that causes the reactions I have to simple things like, the phone ringing, or a knock on the door. Personally, I prefer an email or instant message to a call any-day. That is, unless it's for something long and involved or my husband is calling. Please don't make me type hundreds of lines back and forth for something that we can discuss much easier and with less confusion by talking in person or over the phone. That being said, even if you need a real discussion, I somehow prefer a quick text to let me know. You know, "Hey little miss priss (that's something my mom use to call me :-[ when she was angry), I need to talk to you, so I'll drop by in about 5 minutes!" or maybe, "I need your help with something, I'll call you so we can talk.". Just that little warning eases my mind. I guess it prepares me.

See how ecstatic I am to talk on the phone!

I was laying on my bed yesterday reading through some pamphlets when I heard the door bell ring. Almost anytime I hear the door or my phone my heart-rate seems to go up a little. I'm sure it doesn't help when the dog starts barking like crazy. No big deal, I tell myself, just look through the window and check who it is. So I pull my curtain apart just enough to see two missionaries at my door. Another thing that gets my heart racing. I know they mean well, but I don't want to talk to them. Most likely they are Jehovah's Witnesses, but the white shirt on the man indicates that they could be Mormon. Either way, I don't want to talk to them. I can tell them I already go to church, that I am Lutheran or, I attend at the United Church of Christ where I am quite happy. However, that isn't usually enough. In-fact it sometimes invites them to ask more questions. I want them to leave, but I often answer anyway. This would be ok, but it invites them to come back, bringing this whole uncomfortable situation again and again. This is very similar to getting calls or visits from sales people. If I do answer them it is uncomfortable. I don't want to talk to them, yet I seem to insist on being "nice," listen to their spiel and let them down gently. Great, now they push, and offer some "benefit" like lower the price, different offer, guaranteed satisfaction, or cancel within so many days. No, I don't want what you are offering, and frankly I don't want you to come or call at all! That's what I'd like to tell them, but instead I just hang up or send them on their way. I really hate the feeling that I get when I have to respond to these people. I truly do not want to respond to them at all.

Okay, that's not missionaries, it's just us and Craig's brother Zack :)

I chose to stay in my room that day, not answer the door, and let the dog bark. I feel like I'm hiding out in my room, so they won't know I'm there, or will at least just go away. Why do I do that? Why do I feel that way? A little anxiety, I know, but why does this cause anxiety? I know I'm not the only one, others have the same or similar reaction. It's almost like I see them as intruders, intruding into my private life, but they mean no real harm. I even did a little search on this after the well meaning missionaries finally left my doorstep. I found a video of a women asking similar questions about her reactions to missionary visitors. Her reactions and feelings were more severe than mine, but along the same lines. I understood where she was coming from, even if I felt her reaction was a bit heavy. The replies, to her very honest post, were quite harsh for the most part. Especially replies from our very loving caring evangelicals, who want nothing more than to save the souls of every sinner they claim not to judge.

There, I found a missionary in my pics. Wonders never cease! 

So, what do you all think? Why do I react this way? Why does anyone react this way? And please do not put in any comments about it being the devil, or some demon inside me. That's the kind of thing people were posting to the lady in the video I described in the previous paragraph. I just find these kind of comments to be every bit as "demonic" or "possessed" as the reactions those comments are referring to. That probably didn't make a lot of sense, but I never claimed that everything I say makes total sense. 

Sikh temple massacre

Today I was watching a Democracy Now video clip. It was about the person that recently committed the Sikh temple massacre. It also discussed his involvement in the white supremacist movement while in the military, and after leaving the military ranks. 

Here's a link: Sikh Temple Massacre is the Outgrowth of Pervasive White Supremacism in Military Ranks.

In the video, journalist Matt Kennard, plus academic and author Pete Semi, speak to Amy Goodman about the influence of the white supremacy movement within the military. I was not in the military during the war on terror, but I do not recall a lot being done to discipline or discourage this involvement in white supremacy, even absent active wars. I do remember seeing allot more skinheads when I was stationed in Korea than I did when I was stationed in Fort Lewis WA. I knew of several skinheads that were in tanker units, and other combat units, while in Korea. When I was stationed in Fort Lewis I was almost always around other soldiers in communications, which was our line of work. So it makes sense that I did not see a lot of skin heads while state-side, if they tend to be in a different line of work. 

Korea was my first duty station right after basic training and AIT. It was also my first time out of the country. The first time I met any skinheads in Korea, I will admit that I was a bit intimidated. I wasn't scared, mind you, just a little intimidated. After hanging out with a couple of them  for a while, I got over my intimidation. I will never agree with their kind of extreme mentality, insistence that we are somehow superior to others, and exclusion of anyone not like us. I remember having a discussion with a skinhead from the local tanker unit on Camp Hovey. We all went down range that evening and came back in a group of about five. We had been drinking. After we all got back on post the others went "home." I had been talking to, I believe, the only skinhead in the group that night. We kept walking and talking, I think he had a lot on his drunk mind. I don't remember all of our discussion, but I remember he tried to convince me of the importance of keeping our race "pure" and that minorities were taking over. He didn't exactly use those words, but that was the idea. I speak my mind, it's just how I am, so I explained my disagreements as tactfully as I knew how. At some point he asked me, an obviously pointed hypothetical. "What if, some day after you have kids, your beautiful daughter tells you she's in love with a "ni**ar?" My reply, "So what if she does?" "What does it matter, if they love each other and care for each other?" He tried to convince me of the error of my thinking, but I don't care. I know who I am, I know what I believe, and I know how I feel. 

That hasn't got much to do with these horrifying murders, it's just a little I remember of one person I knew, who was a skinhead. That conversation will always stick in my mind, unlike much of the rest of my tour in Korea. Wade Michael Page brutally killed several innocent people out of sheer hatred. I don't know if I can ever understand that kind of hatred. It so totally feels like sheer ignorance, total complete ignorance. Than again maybe people like this are missing any real sense of love, kindness, or compassion. I don't know, What do you think? Watch the video if you can find the time, it discusses some very important matters. Post in the comments section if you like.

Book ideas

Yay! I turned on my mobile blogger and it finally synced all my posts. I thought I was going to have to look for the settings myself, to get it to sync. Now I don't have to :-P

Retention or progress

Right before summer, I got the news that Sebastian would be retained in 1st grade. I knew it could happen, but I always held out hope that he would scrape by and make it into the next grade.

You see, Sebastian has struggled with reading and writing the last two grades. At the last quarter of school this year, we received notice, on his report card, that he may not meet the reading standard for placement in 2nd grade. It did not leave much time to work on this. Sebastian is a smart kid, but is also very shy and has trouble requesting help when needed. The teachers also reported noticing lack of response when in group-discussions, and when being called on.

We had been working on this throughout the year, and he had also been identified to get help through Response To Intervention services. Therefore, I thought he would get the help he needs and be fine. We even requested evaluation for possible special needs. We worked to help him more, trying extra reading, tutoring, me coming in to help in class, and so on. At the end of the year, his reading had improved and good grades were coming in, especially the last couple of weeks. I had hoped that was enough, but I guess not.

The last report card came out and said he did not meet requirements to advance to 2nd grade. The teachers even said that his reading had improved, but not enough, and that his writing was too deficient. The writing was not news to us, but it was never written as a possible reason for him to be retained. There was no discussion with us, no meetings, or conference, just the final decision that he would be retained.

This whole summer this has weighed heavy on my mind. I do not feel retention is appropriate for moderate struggles. I also feel that much of his problems are not for lack of ability, but more for extreme shyness and lack of a real voice. The fact that we, the parents, were not included in the decision is really upsetting. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it seemed. What could be done? I mean the school already made their decision. There is no unfailing once you fail a school year. His Ex. Ed. Evaluation was not finished. There is no summer school to help him advance. Even with tutoring, that was not provided as an option for possible advancement, nothing was provided except retention.

The only options I could see were just to accept the retention and continue to support my child, or pull him out of school and home school him while I continue to support my child. I also work at the school, so I cannot just pull him out, I would have to quit also.

When my husband found out what I was considering, the clash was not pretty. He made it pretty clear, "I do not like the idea of homeschooling!”, and "I really do not like the idea of homeschooling!" This was followed by a lively discussion (argument) about the fault off him not catching up being my inability to help him as much as he needed. We all know that when s*it hits the fan it really hits the fan!

In the end of our angry heated discussion, I think I regained some reputation of ability to provide the help and support a mom needs to provide her children. I at least got an admission that hubby is willing to support whatever I decide. He also convinced me to at least call and discuss our disagreements concerning Sebastian's retention with the school principal.

7/11/2012

Now this is where we are. I have informed the principal of some of our issues with the retention, and thoughts of homeschooling him. We have an appointment with her on Tuesday to discuss this further. I have been researching homeschooling so I can be prepared if I choose that path. Sebastian has an ex Ed Evaluation on Wednesday. I am also looking into options for possible income if I choose to stay home.

I have tried to keep this hush-hush until we make a real decision. I know opinions on homeschooling are as vast and volatile as opinions on religion, so I do not want to tamper with those dynamics until I know what we will do. In fact, I will not publish this until a decision of some manner has been made.

7/18/2012

We had an appointment with the principal that went well. She set up an appointment to discuss more of a final decision, after test results are in, and after she has a chance to speak with his teachers. He has a Psych Evaluation tomorrow, and will take some academic tests next Monday. Then we go back to speak to the principal again, for a more final decision. It does sound as though she is leaning towards advancement to second grade, but we have to wait for her to weigh all the info.

7/25/2012

All is done. We talked to the principal. Testing was fine, teachers in agreement, and the plan now is to advance him to 2nd grade, keep working with him, and try to find ways to increase his courage. At the end of 2nd grade, we will see if he is ready for advancement to 3rd. I can still bring him to evening home school classes for supplement. This works for me. Now we have to keep on moving forward and see what the future holds.

Abortion

Abortion can be a very touchy issue. We all have our opinion on one side or the other, and I am no different.  I have always been "pro choice," since I knew the meaning of the term. I remember the first time I was asked if I consider myself "pro-life" or "pro choice." I was in high school and I did not know what they mean, so I asked. Given a quick simple explanation, I said, "I guess that makes me pro choice." I just think the pregnant woman should have final say when it comes to bringing another life into the world. Just living in this free country, my feelings were that I am free to chose if and when I have a child, so surely that should be my choice. Here is where the real arguments and accusations start flying.

"That baby is already alive!" "It's her body; she should choose what happens to her body!" "She should have considered that before she spread her legs!" "She should not be forced to carry a baby in her body!" Abortion is murder!" "A fetus is a parasite using the woman as a host!" That baby could create a cure for cancer." "Pregnancy is a huge health risk!" "If she's old enough to have sex she has to face the consequences!" "She doesn't have the ability to care for a baby!" "She could give it to a loving family through adoption!" "The baby could end up in a horrible foster system!" "Lots of loving people would give anything to be in your position. How dare you kill what they would give anything for?" "She shouldn't be forced to bring a child into this awful world!"

There are so many arguments and there is so much judgment on such an unfortunate situation. There really are so many things and so many feelings to consider when it comes to abortion, and I really do think it should be the pregnant woman who makes that decision (hopefully with the support and advice of loved ones). It is not cut and dry, not one way or the other, there are huge consequences no matter what she decides. 

My thoughts concerning some of the details and nitty gritty have changed over the years, especially concerning prevention. Actually, I use to have some pretty extreme ideas concerning multiple abortions. After the second abortion, I felt they were obviously using it merely as late, lazy, expensive, and heartless birth control. These drastic unconscionable abortions should not be continued! My solution, forced removal of reproductive parts. You choose, either you have this baby, or you never have an opportunity to get pregnant again. We'll just say that my heart has softened since then. I will not go into all the reasons, but I think there is allot more to consider, and I also feel there must be something really broken inside that person that needs to be fixed. Not to mention she might be being raped or molested, leading to multiple unwanted and undeserved pregnancies. 

I will provide a bullet list of the ideas and feelings I have on abortion, and why it should always be a choice.

• A child brings huge changes to everyone involved, especially the parent or parents.
• The child is not born yet, and in most cases, abortions occur early on (before they are considered alive). If you want to say it is alive from conception, I would counter that the sperm and egg were alive even before pregnancy. If you want to get technical, germs are alive, worms are alive, amoebas are alive, but I am not going out of my way to save and raise them.
• In the cases that an abortion happens late, it is usually due to some awful circumstances. These are often decided to save harm to mother child or both. Many of these were wanted pregnancies, and cause pain that no one would want to go through. Decisions in these circumstances are often drastic no matter what the choices are. 
• When a women finds out they are pregnant there are tremendous decisions to be made, thoughts to consider, planning that must be done. No matter what the choice it all involves sacrifice, and I do think there is a need to do what is best for the child. Not everyone will agree on what is best for the child, but that is why the person bringing the baby into the world or keeping them from this world should make the final decision.
•  We have no real idea how much pain they are feeling, what is happening in their life, why they are considering abortion as an option. 
• There could be many reasons the person does not feel carrying a baby to term is what is best for them or the child. She may be on drugs, she could be in an abusive situation, she may feel trapped, she may not have the financial means, she may be unstable, she may not have the responsibility or know how, she may be afraid, she may have health issues, and the baby may have health issues. The point is, it could be anything or many things, but it is her choice. It is not my choice, not your choice, not the grandparents’ choice, not the Dr.'s choice, and sure as heck is not the government’s choice.
• Adoption could be an option, but it still should be her choice. It can be provided as an option, but can she handle that? This is where I would have a real hang-up. I would want the best possible life for that child should I decide to give birth, but I do not think I could birth a baby and be able to give it up. That is a kind of pain I do not ever want to feel, but then again I would never want to be in a position to feel that I have to have an abortion or adoption. Either way, you are talking immense amounts of pain and sorrow.
• I do believe there are more than enough people in the world, even if you consider places that are under populated, they often do not have the resources, there are not enough people or jobs to sustain the area and people in it. Many of the places that are overpopulated are so because people flock there to gain jobs, resources, housing, etc. This depletes resources, pollutes the air, increases traffic, and causes overcrowding. Not a reason to abort in and of itself, but to that person they may truly feel it is.
• Being irresponsible while having sex will have consequences no matter what. It is not our responsibility to force the consequence we think she should suffer. 18-year sentence or realistically the rest of their life is taking discipline and consequences a bit far. I do not see it as a sentence myself, but some of the people that insist she must pay the consequences for her irresponsibility do seem to see it that way. Anyway, if she has an abortion that is a horrible consequence, if she adopts it is a consequence that could be horrible, and same with keeping and raising a child when you are not ready to be a parent. 
• Which brings me to another unfortunate reality, some people are not ready to be parents, some people should not be parents, and some children just need allot more support than an unprepared person is willing to give.
• I will leave with this last thought. If none of the issues above are valid in the given situation, should that person really be mothering a child? Is that the kind of person that should be forced to be a parent? I do not think so. I honestly feel worse for living children in constant or repeated awful situations, than I do for children that were never born.

So there it is. My view on this dreadful matter. I may have other insight and thought on certain applicable situations, but that sums up most of my opinion. Moreover, my brain is kinda fried right now, so that is enough.