Retention or progress

Right before summer, I got the news that Sebastian would be retained in 1st grade. I knew it could happen, but I always held out hope that he would scrape by and make it into the next grade.

You see, Sebastian has struggled with reading and writing the last two grades. At the last quarter of school this year, we received notice, on his report card, that he may not meet the reading standard for placement in 2nd grade. It did not leave much time to work on this. Sebastian is a smart kid, but is also very shy and has trouble requesting help when needed. The teachers also reported noticing lack of response when in group-discussions, and when being called on.

We had been working on this throughout the year, and he had also been identified to get help through Response To Intervention services. Therefore, I thought he would get the help he needs and be fine. We even requested evaluation for possible special needs. We worked to help him more, trying extra reading, tutoring, me coming in to help in class, and so on. At the end of the year, his reading had improved and good grades were coming in, especially the last couple of weeks. I had hoped that was enough, but I guess not.

The last report card came out and said he did not meet requirements to advance to 2nd grade. The teachers even said that his reading had improved, but not enough, and that his writing was too deficient. The writing was not news to us, but it was never written as a possible reason for him to be retained. There was no discussion with us, no meetings, or conference, just the final decision that he would be retained.

This whole summer this has weighed heavy on my mind. I do not feel retention is appropriate for moderate struggles. I also feel that much of his problems are not for lack of ability, but more for extreme shyness and lack of a real voice. The fact that we, the parents, were not included in the decision is really upsetting. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it seemed. What could be done? I mean the school already made their decision. There is no unfailing once you fail a school year. His Ex. Ed. Evaluation was not finished. There is no summer school to help him advance. Even with tutoring, that was not provided as an option for possible advancement, nothing was provided except retention.

The only options I could see were just to accept the retention and continue to support my child, or pull him out of school and home school him while I continue to support my child. I also work at the school, so I cannot just pull him out, I would have to quit also.

When my husband found out what I was considering, the clash was not pretty. He made it pretty clear, "I do not like the idea of homeschooling!”, and "I really do not like the idea of homeschooling!" This was followed by a lively discussion (argument) about the fault off him not catching up being my inability to help him as much as he needed. We all know that when s*it hits the fan it really hits the fan!

In the end of our angry heated discussion, I think I regained some reputation of ability to provide the help and support a mom needs to provide her children. I at least got an admission that hubby is willing to support whatever I decide. He also convinced me to at least call and discuss our disagreements concerning Sebastian's retention with the school principal.

7/11/2012

Now this is where we are. I have informed the principal of some of our issues with the retention, and thoughts of homeschooling him. We have an appointment with her on Tuesday to discuss this further. I have been researching homeschooling so I can be prepared if I choose that path. Sebastian has an ex Ed Evaluation on Wednesday. I am also looking into options for possible income if I choose to stay home.

I have tried to keep this hush-hush until we make a real decision. I know opinions on homeschooling are as vast and volatile as opinions on religion, so I do not want to tamper with those dynamics until I know what we will do. In fact, I will not publish this until a decision of some manner has been made.

7/18/2012

We had an appointment with the principal that went well. She set up an appointment to discuss more of a final decision, after test results are in, and after she has a chance to speak with his teachers. He has a Psych Evaluation tomorrow, and will take some academic tests next Monday. Then we go back to speak to the principal again, for a more final decision. It does sound as though she is leaning towards advancement to second grade, but we have to wait for her to weigh all the info.

7/25/2012

All is done. We talked to the principal. Testing was fine, teachers in agreement, and the plan now is to advance him to 2nd grade, keep working with him, and try to find ways to increase his courage. At the end of 2nd grade, we will see if he is ready for advancement to 3rd. I can still bring him to evening home school classes for supplement. This works for me. Now we have to keep on moving forward and see what the future holds.