Education to Mention: Christmas products almost ready for bundle!

Education to Mention: Christmas products almost ready for bundle!: I have been working on my PowerPoint skills to create some stylized Christmas goodies. I am slowly adding more to my TpT store and I even g...

Education to Mention: So this is techy Christmas!

A post to my education Blog. Education to Mention: So this is techy Christmas!: It's that time if year again. If you have you're own children you must figure out the right presents for them. What do you purchase from th...

Education to Mention: Thanksgiving!

Education to Mention: Thanksgiving!: Thanksgiving is here, it's really here! I have so much to be thankful for! I will be visiting family in a couple hours. It  should be a won...

Facebook spam apps. OMG!

This color change spam app I stupidly picked up on facebook, is making my tech life miserable! I knew when it asked me to fill out a survey and then wouldn't let me out until I did a survey (which was not a survey!)

Here's a list of the damage it's reeked so far:
Spammed to everyone and their brothers.
Put a link in Google chrome.
Couldn't find the app in facebook to disable it!
Posted fake "Color changer" Party events
I tried to change the events (because it would not allow me to delete them) yet it posted another event.
I posted several warnings to my facebook friends, yet some still clicked the event.
Then Facebook shuts down my account, after getting through some security measures they tell me my account is compromised and will need to be partially disabled for a few days.
I can look at facebook, but I'm unable to post anything anywhere, Not even a like.
Ran a basic scan after that, removing 5 infected files.
The next night, had it run a thorough check after re-boot and deleted a few files that infected my windows log files.
I log on Blogger and look at my stats from the last 2 days and everything looked fine.
Then I looked at some facebook posts and articles.
I tried posting an article on my Blogger and I find it posted to a fictional account!
Check my blogger and can't even see my blogs, they're replaced by fake blog names with no stats!
It looked like all my blogs and stats were totally gone, and the ones in it's place had no delete option!
Find a list of all my blogs, and it's full of these fake blogs. Mine are still there but buried.
Do a search for help and find a few people are having same issue starting a few days ago.
Luckily those posts had links for deleting the offending blogs, and directed me to change my password info.
I am posting it here, hoping this will show on my other accounts to forewarn others.

Do not click any color changer anything, for Facebook or Chrome. If you do, get rid of it immediately! Warn your buddies,  and run full virus scan. Then change your password in Facebook, Google, and blogger.
How aggravating!

Hmm the stuff in my head....: Thousands sign petitions to secede from the UNITED...

Hmm the stuff in my head....: Thousands sign petitions to secede from the UNITED...: This was originally going to be a facebook post, but I think I am going to make a concerted effort to keep my more long-winded posts of...

Thousands sign petitions to secede from the UNITED States? Really?

This was originally going to be a facebook post, but I think I am going to make a concerted effort to keep my more long-winded posts off there.  Instead I'll try to post my thoughts here, more thoroughly and then include a link or two, maybe three on facebook. So here goes.

This specific picture was posted on Facebook by a family member, and though it may appear to be extreme, I wouldn't doubt that it might have a ring of truth. I'm going to do something a little bit different this time. Instead of just posting my very long post in text for you to read, I am going to make a video that will include everything I am writing below this paragraph. The video is to address the context of this specific picture, not others similar to it. Hopefully video will be easier and less time consuming for those of us who don't care to read that much. Plus, I think you can get more from seeing and hearing what I am trying to convey, than what comes across in just text. Be forewarned, I am not a great reader, and stumble on my words and thoughts occasionally. I also can get emotional about things that are very important to me. I may need to pause at times to compose myself. 

Here is my video post of the text below: I have edited it to remove some pauses and verbal diarrhea. Please do not make rude comments about my facial appearance.  The nerves on one side of face do not work well because of a previous head injury. 

Let's first set aside the fact that this is coming straight from FOX News, and by all my accounts is far from being unbiased. Let's also set aside the fact that thousands of Americans is far from being a large portion of the more than 314 million Americans in population in the UNITED STATES of AMERICA. Now let's move on to my thoughts concerning this and the ever seeming separation of the old "Red state" "Blue state" Americans.

In my Opinion, some of our country has been going this way for years. They (being primarily Republican conservatives vs. Democrat liberals) don't agree with the other side on many issues. So rather than trying to work with them and compromise for the good of our country they continue to push the other-half away, demonize any other views, and alienate half the country. (This is an observation of generalization by the way, and does not apply to everyone.)

As bad as many seem to accuse president Obama of being, I guarantee many of us from the other side of this spectrum felt complete anxiety and maybe even terror at the direction our country was going under the second Bush (I say many of us, not all, and maybe not even most, but I do wonder). This was a heavy weight and burden on our conscience especially after Bush II was reelected. For people that hold toward liberal views (which are not bad, unchristian, or evil, just different than conservative), many of the things that were happening and being pushed by the Bush ADMINISTRATION seemed like they were being pushed through with no opposition, and all Republicans walked lock step with every decision, while some Democrats followed, either because they leaned conservative, were afraid to push away conservative voters, or because they chose to compromise (something the other side seems to see as disloyal breaking of ranks and tradition, on their side). I know I felt like his policies were terrible for our country, our economy, our people, and our soldiers. Yet if anyone or any groups made any attempt to speak out on anything, they were mislabeled as un-American, un-Christian, Evil, and dismissed as extremists. Massive changes were pushed through, with no struggle, because the side with so much power at the time could get away with it. In the end, the two major wars of that time seemed to go on with no hope of ending, assault weapons ban was ignored so it would lapse knowing that conservatives wouldn't dare cross the NRA, economy took a free-fall that did not slow until well into the next term after Bush was gone, personal freedoms and security of those freedoms massively deteriorated (in the name of security),  the rich grew ever richer while the middle class were told it would help them (yet it did the opposite), we were all given a tax credit in return found incredible hikes in prices, rates, and fees of almost everything (which far outpaced any rise in income. {Yeah right, rise in income, what a joke!}) Even with all the tragedy that seemed to befall our country during the Bush years, somehow we still made it out as a country, divided but still a country. You can say that Obama is destroying our country, but as far as I can tell, we have been destroying and dividing our country for decades. Conservatives are pissed off about a healthcare plan and that the economy hasn’t bounced back as much as our “hope and change” idealism had hoped.  Sorry, but that does not hold a candle to the massive issues that liberals felt were weighted on our countries shoulders, during the “fun times” of the Bush II administration. Which we felt, was every bit as horrendous as conservatives feel Obama has been, for our country. I personally hate that people try to dismiss our anger and frustration with the Bush administration, simply because they say it is in the past. Well that past, has continued to influence the negative direction of this country, and we certainly should not ignore it, and brush it aside, just because this is a different administration and a different time. We have every right to look at history in order to try to learn from our past mistakes, and improve our countries future.

Conservatives seem to attach their entire political views on a very small handful of issues. In this current case, the big ones seem to be the healthcare policy enacted by the Obama administration, a false premise that they will lose gun rights, and the never-ending view that lax moral laws (i.e. homosexual issues, abortion, birth control, corporal punishment, and use of the Christian religion in public) are deteriorating our country and society. I do not see democrats as being so nearsighted and one sided, but I am a democrat and certainly have my own bias. I feel like we try to consider many issues when we decide our political views. I hear so many conservatives make claims to the effect of, we are "just drinking the kool-aid", repeating democratic talking points, falling victim to political pandering, uneducated, ignorant, do no research, just don't get it, etc., etc., etc. Yet, that is almost the exact perception some of us have of many conservatives. In reality these claims do absolutely nothing to address the real issues, and the often real, valid, differences in opinion, values, perception, and views of what the differing sides hold. We tend to hold any hope of compromise or tying to understand our differing views hostage, by instead focusing on and attacking the claims I listed above. I will say that they are not important and not the real issue, though they may have some importance, and brake down any real attempt at compromise, they do not get to the real issues, they don't address the roots of our problems or differences. 

So as long as we work so hard to fight against each other, push so adamantly to demonize each-other refuse to really listen to our grievances and concerns on ALL sides (Not just these two major parties!), refuse to compromise or work together, and continue to address the claims I discussed above without working at our root problems and disagreements, this partisan divide will continue. This divide could become more prevalent, more extreme, and maybe even more persistent. Those thousands signing this horrible petition, could become millions, and this country that is so divided by ideology could become far more divided physically. Would seceding from the UNITED STATES of AMERICA help? I do not see this as any kind of help for any true American. It flies in the face of all our forefathers ever stood for and fought for in America! We are the UNITED STATES of America, and if we truly want to help or fix any of these real problems in our country, we need to work really hard on trying not to be the DIVIDED STATES of America. Instead, we need to be working together to improve our country, understand our reaching and diverse views (which are nothing new by the way.) and trying to address real issues, real root differences without jumping to demonizing tactics that do nothing to fix anything. We need to heal this country, and we cannot do it by going our separate ways, dismissing each side’s views, and shutting down when things don't go our way. I love my country, and so does every other democrat, republican, independent, religious, non religious, liberal, conservative, moderate, loving  hating, caring, and non caring American in this country. We are a very diverse country, with very diverse views, and we need to stop being so afraid of diversity. It is not a bad word, or a bad thing, until we make it one, and it is a beautiful thing that makes our country amazing, so amazing that countries around the world have looked up to our system, to our ways, and our countries basic characteristics as an example to emulate and reach for something better. We seem to be falling from those very characteristics that others have tried and succeeded in bringing to their own countries. In falling from who and what we were, we are also falling in prestige, opinion, power, education, and healthcare, sliding in ratings in may areas because we have disconnected ourselves from each-other, and told ourselves that "we" are right and "they" are wrong. Rather than being the United States of America, we are pushing ever harder to become the Divided states of what once was America.

This is NOT what I want for OUR country, and I hope it is not what you want for our country. If not, we have got to try harder to look past our petty differences, and work on understanding our real “BIG” differences, while trying to come up with win-win choices most of us can agree on, and working to compromise on some of those things we cannot seem to agree on. I personally would prefer to set aside any issue that we cannot come to any real agreement on, while only pushing hard on things we CAN come to an agreement on. That is not realistic though, and some of the issues we cannot agree on, will still need to be worked on, eventually. Nevertheless, wouldn’t it be nice to work primarily on things we can agree on, instead of focusing so hard on only the things, which we can’t seem to agree? I think that could be a very healing and refreshing process to follow most of the time.

The world of the not so typical

I was thinking about the reality that I use to write a lot of poetry, but I don't anymore. It struck me, that my writing was at it's peak when I was in the military and I was depressed. So why do I not write anymore? I do write, just not poetry. Could it be just because I'm older, have a family, and different priorities? I'm sure those are factors, but I would also contend that some of our best work comes from a time and place where we are not so typical. Let me explain my use of the word typical. This is a word we use often in the world of autism, to differentiate those with differences and those society considers "normal". Please don't harp on me about my use of "politically correct" terminology. I do this intentionally, because it is both used regularly in my field, and because it is more courteous then using some of the more disparaging words used to describe people with "differences" or "exceptionalities." While this may offend some or seem unimportant, it is my way of drawing a distinction between what some view as a problem and what others view as a difference. This distinction is very important because we too often assume that people with these differences are riddled with problems, or that they are defined by their disability or disorder. However, it is my belief that these things should not define a person, are not always problems, and are only a part of their total person. While none of us wants to be defined as our weakness or called our weakness, neither should we do that to others. Now, in the world of autism we use the word typical or neurotypical, to describe those without a neural disorder. The thinking here is that all too often things like autism or ADHD are considered a problem or a disability when some people do not feel they are a problem and/or do not consider it a disability. In fact, some traits that can come from ADHD and autism, are good or even "exceptional."

Back to my original point. Some of our best work comes from a time and place where we are not so typical. In my everyday, normal, humdrum life, I don't concern myself so much with writing down my deepest darkest thoughts. I go through day after day, worrying more about everyday events that probably aren't so very important. In fact, sometimes I may even go search out more interesting important topics to fill my need to feel involved, and to think and ponder matters of real importance. It is when things get tough, when my world isn't so typical that my need to create, and 'get out all the thoughts in my head' seems to really flourish. I suspect it is this way with many people. Do we do our best work when we are under pressure? I really think we see things differently and think differently when we are in the trenches, when the muck of life is really bearing down. Tragedy, depression, hardship, mental problems, and all those other things that can turn and alter our lives and our being seem to have a way of .... kicking us when we're down. Yet, sometimes such astonishing beauty, and amazing creation can come from the darkest times and places in our lives. Maybe it is a coping mechanism, maybe it's our way of really looking deep into the mess, while still feeling somewhat detached from it. I'm not sure, but I do think we create more, and create better when life isn't so normal, so typical. I don't miss it, or want it back, quite the contrary, but I do acknowledge that our darkest hours can produce the most amazing things. I would think that the key is, to find a way out of those places, before you drowned in misery and can't escape. Maybe if you're lucky, you can get back to the boring, humdrum, normal, typical life. Maybe not. Even so, if you can get yourself up from those dark times, pull yourself up with some help, dust yourself off, and not get lost forever, sucked into those terrible places, then all the better for you and the world. It's just too bad we lose some, who get lost and can't make their way out. That really sucks, yet it happens all to often.

Now enough of me talking such depressing stuff! It's time for me to be happy, at my wonderfully boring normal life. Though I will always be thankful, in some strange sort of way, for those dark times, but mostly for being able to escape.

Education to Mention: Bullying post from another blogger.

Here's a link: Education to Mention: Bullying post from another blogger.: Bullying is Broken | The Hero Construction Company I came across this on another blog. It's right on about not having a clear definition of...

Awesome president Clinton

Remember this awesome president. He did great things for our country. I have an uncle that told me, when asked, that he was a weak president! The belief of some republicans! Bill Clinton - Google Search He is here in palm bay!
I've got pictures. He is in my sideways picture. Bill Nelson is at the podium introducing him.

Education to Mention: Conflict resolution?

Education to Mention: Conflict resolution?: As a parent and educator there will be many occasions that a child will come to me, to inform me of the horrible acts of another. How do ...

Education to Mention: Importance of repetition, timed tests, and other m...

This is the post I just published in my Education Blog.

Education to Mention: Importance of repetition, timed tests, and other m...: This is a topic that I have seen discussed on the TpT boards. While I included some of my thoughts on the forum, I want to address the iss...

Clearing Word Comprehension in Complex Text

Education to Mention: Clearing Word Comprehension in Complex Text:   This is a simple activity, using a graphic organizer, to help students understand a complex word.

Education to Mention: Lady bug clip-art and frames

Since I have not been busy at work, and needed a sense of purpose while sitting at home away from students, I have started on a new journey. I am attempting my hand at writing books and blogs, which I enjoy, I'm working a little more on art, and I am considering dabbling in crafts. The idea of writing books, when Craig first suggested it, was a bit intimidating to me. Where do I begin? What do I write? How do I get published? and, How on earth do I sell my products, when I am so not a sales person? However, when I set my mind and heart on something I am determined to make it happen. So I researched (which I am good at and enjoy), found free writing programs, (vWriter5, and Fast Pencil), a few selling sites, lots of advice and tips for beginners, and I discovered Indie publishing (self publishing), because nothing intimidated me more than the idea of trying to convince some huge company to publish my work. I have started writing several books, which are going very slow. I just don't usually go full speed ahead on something I'm brand new at. That would be the quickest way to get me burned out on the process. Then, several weeks back, Craig introduced me to a CNN video he saw on the internet. In it, they showed a teacher that had made over a million dollars selling lesson plans, units, books, and other educational things that she had created over the years. She explained how she discovered Teachers pay Teachers and began this adventure, which has really been a great way to supplement her teaching income, and also a wonderful community of supportive teachers that love to help each other. So, I decided to check it out, because that would be another great way I could write, create, and get my work out to the public. So far so good. The community is wonderful, it keeps me busy, and allows me to go at my own pace. I only have a couple products up so far, one free graphic organizer, and the lady bug clip art shown. That was my first attempt at clip-art, which had a few hiccups, but came along fine in the end, especially with the helpful advice of the TpT community. 

Education to Mention: Lady bug clip-art and frames: These are cute ladybugs in clip art and frames or boarders. They are perfect to dress up your site, lessons, or whatever you like. This i...

"Legitimate rape," really?

Sometimes the media, politicians, or the public in general complain about the distractions that are intentionally used to take our focus off important matters. Matters that should be well covered in election campaigns. It seems to happen all the time. I would like to draw attention to one distraction that should be drawn, because it is very important for the present political environment. Usually I hate the distractions, but I see this as an important issue that needs to be brought out into the open. After one of the Republican Party faithful made an ignorant comment about rape, it set off a firestorm, detracting attention from the horrid economy. The issue is discussed in the video linked below. 

What the h*** did he just say?

I see this "distraction" as a way to get a very important issue out into the open, so there will be real discussion. Usually it would just be brushed under the carpet, like any other issue that politicians do not want to discuss. In my view, this should be taken out of the "distraction" category, and put in the "pressing issue of the day" category. 

Republicans like to say that democrats are just trying to distract us from the important matters of the tanked economy. The funny thing is they did not seem to be very concerned about the economy, outside the elections. Members of the Republican Party nationwide ran in 2010 on job creation, improving the ailing economy, and cutting spending. Yet they have focused, instead, on stripping women’s rights, cutting family planning funding, and other reproductive issues.  If the economy, and jobs were so vital for them, than surely they would have busted there rumps trying to fix these things. That has not happened at all. They have done anything they could to stonewall any legislation from the other side, on these issues. They have insisted on pushing legislation they know the other side will not agree on, and offer no real compromise. This tactic has intentionally barred any improvements from being made. That is why it is called stonewalling! 

So if they have done nothing to fix the economy, jobs, or anything like that, and have done everything to stop these very things, then what have they been doing? They had to be putting that energy into something, working towards some sort of accomplishments. Though you may believe that their only accomplishment has been to stop anything from coming through from the Democratic Party, you would be wrong. They have been working very hard, but not on what they claim the focus in this race (and the last race) should be on! They have been working at unprecedented rates on implementing, bills, legislation, and laws that strip rights women have worked long and hard to gain. Check this link to see some of the handy work in this issue. You can also take a look here, at this short article written back in April. Imagine how it is four months later! They have also worked very hard to de-fund and erode programs for family planning. So, while I do believe the economy and job creation are vital to getting our country back on its feet, I also believe we must take this issue, of the erosion of women's rights, very seriously! The comments that came out of Akin's mouth are reflective of the ideas and beliefs that are driving this push to erode reproductive rights. This issue is very important and needs to be discussed and brought out, in all its ugliness and all its distorted views. This is truly a necessary distraction!

If you want to comment, please do. There should be a link below that says, 1 comment, or something similar. I would like it to be easier to see all topic comments, but I haven't found an option on blogger to improve that. 

Get the door!

I want to write a lighter post today, since my head hurts and I don't really feel like talking about anything too heavy. Maybe I'll even take a little nap after this :-)

I wonder what it is that causes the reactions I have to simple things like, the phone ringing, or a knock on the door. Personally, I prefer an email or instant message to a call any-day. That is, unless it's for something long and involved or my husband is calling. Please don't make me type hundreds of lines back and forth for something that we can discuss much easier and with less confusion by talking in person or over the phone. That being said, even if you need a real discussion, I somehow prefer a quick text to let me know. You know, "Hey little miss priss (that's something my mom use to call me :-[ when she was angry), I need to talk to you, so I'll drop by in about 5 minutes!" or maybe, "I need your help with something, I'll call you so we can talk.". Just that little warning eases my mind. I guess it prepares me.

See how ecstatic I am to talk on the phone!

I was laying on my bed yesterday reading through some pamphlets when I heard the door bell ring. Almost anytime I hear the door or my phone my heart-rate seems to go up a little. I'm sure it doesn't help when the dog starts barking like crazy. No big deal, I tell myself, just look through the window and check who it is. So I pull my curtain apart just enough to see two missionaries at my door. Another thing that gets my heart racing. I know they mean well, but I don't want to talk to them. Most likely they are Jehovah's Witnesses, but the white shirt on the man indicates that they could be Mormon. Either way, I don't want to talk to them. I can tell them I already go to church, that I am Lutheran or, I attend at the United Church of Christ where I am quite happy. However, that isn't usually enough. In-fact it sometimes invites them to ask more questions. I want them to leave, but I often answer anyway. This would be ok, but it invites them to come back, bringing this whole uncomfortable situation again and again. This is very similar to getting calls or visits from sales people. If I do answer them it is uncomfortable. I don't want to talk to them, yet I seem to insist on being "nice," listen to their spiel and let them down gently. Great, now they push, and offer some "benefit" like lower the price, different offer, guaranteed satisfaction, or cancel within so many days. No, I don't want what you are offering, and frankly I don't want you to come or call at all! That's what I'd like to tell them, but instead I just hang up or send them on their way. I really hate the feeling that I get when I have to respond to these people. I truly do not want to respond to them at all.

Okay, that's not missionaries, it's just us and Craig's brother Zack :)

I chose to stay in my room that day, not answer the door, and let the dog bark. I feel like I'm hiding out in my room, so they won't know I'm there, or will at least just go away. Why do I do that? Why do I feel that way? A little anxiety, I know, but why does this cause anxiety? I know I'm not the only one, others have the same or similar reaction. It's almost like I see them as intruders, intruding into my private life, but they mean no real harm. I even did a little search on this after the well meaning missionaries finally left my doorstep. I found a video of a women asking similar questions about her reactions to missionary visitors. Her reactions and feelings were more severe than mine, but along the same lines. I understood where she was coming from, even if I felt her reaction was a bit heavy. The replies, to her very honest post, were quite harsh for the most part. Especially replies from our very loving caring evangelicals, who want nothing more than to save the souls of every sinner they claim not to judge.

There, I found a missionary in my pics. Wonders never cease! 

So, what do you all think? Why do I react this way? Why does anyone react this way? And please do not put in any comments about it being the devil, or some demon inside me. That's the kind of thing people were posting to the lady in the video I described in the previous paragraph. I just find these kind of comments to be every bit as "demonic" or "possessed" as the reactions those comments are referring to. That probably didn't make a lot of sense, but I never claimed that everything I say makes total sense. 

Sikh temple massacre

Today I was watching a Democracy Now video clip. It was about the person that recently committed the Sikh temple massacre. It also discussed his involvement in the white supremacist movement while in the military, and after leaving the military ranks. 

Here's a link: Sikh Temple Massacre is the Outgrowth of Pervasive White Supremacism in Military Ranks.

In the video, journalist Matt Kennard, plus academic and author Pete Semi, speak to Amy Goodman about the influence of the white supremacy movement within the military. I was not in the military during the war on terror, but I do not recall a lot being done to discipline or discourage this involvement in white supremacy, even absent active wars. I do remember seeing allot more skinheads when I was stationed in Korea than I did when I was stationed in Fort Lewis WA. I knew of several skinheads that were in tanker units, and other combat units, while in Korea. When I was stationed in Fort Lewis I was almost always around other soldiers in communications, which was our line of work. So it makes sense that I did not see a lot of skin heads while state-side, if they tend to be in a different line of work. 

Korea was my first duty station right after basic training and AIT. It was also my first time out of the country. The first time I met any skinheads in Korea, I will admit that I was a bit intimidated. I wasn't scared, mind you, just a little intimidated. After hanging out with a couple of them  for a while, I got over my intimidation. I will never agree with their kind of extreme mentality, insistence that we are somehow superior to others, and exclusion of anyone not like us. I remember having a discussion with a skinhead from the local tanker unit on Camp Hovey. We all went down range that evening and came back in a group of about five. We had been drinking. After we all got back on post the others went "home." I had been talking to, I believe, the only skinhead in the group that night. We kept walking and talking, I think he had a lot on his drunk mind. I don't remember all of our discussion, but I remember he tried to convince me of the importance of keeping our race "pure" and that minorities were taking over. He didn't exactly use those words, but that was the idea. I speak my mind, it's just how I am, so I explained my disagreements as tactfully as I knew how. At some point he asked me, an obviously pointed hypothetical. "What if, some day after you have kids, your beautiful daughter tells you she's in love with a "ni**ar?" My reply, "So what if she does?" "What does it matter, if they love each other and care for each other?" He tried to convince me of the error of my thinking, but I don't care. I know who I am, I know what I believe, and I know how I feel. 

That hasn't got much to do with these horrifying murders, it's just a little I remember of one person I knew, who was a skinhead. That conversation will always stick in my mind, unlike much of the rest of my tour in Korea. Wade Michael Page brutally killed several innocent people out of sheer hatred. I don't know if I can ever understand that kind of hatred. It so totally feels like sheer ignorance, total complete ignorance. Than again maybe people like this are missing any real sense of love, kindness, or compassion. I don't know, What do you think? Watch the video if you can find the time, it discusses some very important matters. Post in the comments section if you like.

Book ideas

Yay! I turned on my mobile blogger and it finally synced all my posts. I thought I was going to have to look for the settings myself, to get it to sync. Now I don't have to :-P

Retention or progress

Right before summer, I got the news that Sebastian would be retained in 1st grade. I knew it could happen, but I always held out hope that he would scrape by and make it into the next grade.

You see, Sebastian has struggled with reading and writing the last two grades. At the last quarter of school this year, we received notice, on his report card, that he may not meet the reading standard for placement in 2nd grade. It did not leave much time to work on this. Sebastian is a smart kid, but is also very shy and has trouble requesting help when needed. The teachers also reported noticing lack of response when in group-discussions, and when being called on.

We had been working on this throughout the year, and he had also been identified to get help through Response To Intervention services. Therefore, I thought he would get the help he needs and be fine. We even requested evaluation for possible special needs. We worked to help him more, trying extra reading, tutoring, me coming in to help in class, and so on. At the end of the year, his reading had improved and good grades were coming in, especially the last couple of weeks. I had hoped that was enough, but I guess not.

The last report card came out and said he did not meet requirements to advance to 2nd grade. The teachers even said that his reading had improved, but not enough, and that his writing was too deficient. The writing was not news to us, but it was never written as a possible reason for him to be retained. There was no discussion with us, no meetings, or conference, just the final decision that he would be retained.

This whole summer this has weighed heavy on my mind. I do not feel retention is appropriate for moderate struggles. I also feel that much of his problems are not for lack of ability, but more for extreme shyness and lack of a real voice. The fact that we, the parents, were not included in the decision is really upsetting. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it seemed. What could be done? I mean the school already made their decision. There is no unfailing once you fail a school year. His Ex. Ed. Evaluation was not finished. There is no summer school to help him advance. Even with tutoring, that was not provided as an option for possible advancement, nothing was provided except retention.

The only options I could see were just to accept the retention and continue to support my child, or pull him out of school and home school him while I continue to support my child. I also work at the school, so I cannot just pull him out, I would have to quit also.

When my husband found out what I was considering, the clash was not pretty. He made it pretty clear, "I do not like the idea of homeschooling!”, and "I really do not like the idea of homeschooling!" This was followed by a lively discussion (argument) about the fault off him not catching up being my inability to help him as much as he needed. We all know that when s*it hits the fan it really hits the fan!

In the end of our angry heated discussion, I think I regained some reputation of ability to provide the help and support a mom needs to provide her children. I at least got an admission that hubby is willing to support whatever I decide. He also convinced me to at least call and discuss our disagreements concerning Sebastian's retention with the school principal.

7/11/2012

Now this is where we are. I have informed the principal of some of our issues with the retention, and thoughts of homeschooling him. We have an appointment with her on Tuesday to discuss this further. I have been researching homeschooling so I can be prepared if I choose that path. Sebastian has an ex Ed Evaluation on Wednesday. I am also looking into options for possible income if I choose to stay home.

I have tried to keep this hush-hush until we make a real decision. I know opinions on homeschooling are as vast and volatile as opinions on religion, so I do not want to tamper with those dynamics until I know what we will do. In fact, I will not publish this until a decision of some manner has been made.

7/18/2012

We had an appointment with the principal that went well. She set up an appointment to discuss more of a final decision, after test results are in, and after she has a chance to speak with his teachers. He has a Psych Evaluation tomorrow, and will take some academic tests next Monday. Then we go back to speak to the principal again, for a more final decision. It does sound as though she is leaning towards advancement to second grade, but we have to wait for her to weigh all the info.

7/25/2012

All is done. We talked to the principal. Testing was fine, teachers in agreement, and the plan now is to advance him to 2nd grade, keep working with him, and try to find ways to increase his courage. At the end of 2nd grade, we will see if he is ready for advancement to 3rd. I can still bring him to evening home school classes for supplement. This works for me. Now we have to keep on moving forward and see what the future holds.

Abortion

Abortion can be a very touchy issue. We all have our opinion on one side or the other, and I am no different.  I have always been "pro choice," since I knew the meaning of the term. I remember the first time I was asked if I consider myself "pro-life" or "pro choice." I was in high school and I did not know what they mean, so I asked. Given a quick simple explanation, I said, "I guess that makes me pro choice." I just think the pregnant woman should have final say when it comes to bringing another life into the world. Just living in this free country, my feelings were that I am free to chose if and when I have a child, so surely that should be my choice. Here is where the real arguments and accusations start flying.

"That baby is already alive!" "It's her body; she should choose what happens to her body!" "She should have considered that before she spread her legs!" "She should not be forced to carry a baby in her body!" Abortion is murder!" "A fetus is a parasite using the woman as a host!" That baby could create a cure for cancer." "Pregnancy is a huge health risk!" "If she's old enough to have sex she has to face the consequences!" "She doesn't have the ability to care for a baby!" "She could give it to a loving family through adoption!" "The baby could end up in a horrible foster system!" "Lots of loving people would give anything to be in your position. How dare you kill what they would give anything for?" "She shouldn't be forced to bring a child into this awful world!"

There are so many arguments and there is so much judgment on such an unfortunate situation. There really are so many things and so many feelings to consider when it comes to abortion, and I really do think it should be the pregnant woman who makes that decision (hopefully with the support and advice of loved ones). It is not cut and dry, not one way or the other, there are huge consequences no matter what she decides. 

My thoughts concerning some of the details and nitty gritty have changed over the years, especially concerning prevention. Actually, I use to have some pretty extreme ideas concerning multiple abortions. After the second abortion, I felt they were obviously using it merely as late, lazy, expensive, and heartless birth control. These drastic unconscionable abortions should not be continued! My solution, forced removal of reproductive parts. You choose, either you have this baby, or you never have an opportunity to get pregnant again. We'll just say that my heart has softened since then. I will not go into all the reasons, but I think there is allot more to consider, and I also feel there must be something really broken inside that person that needs to be fixed. Not to mention she might be being raped or molested, leading to multiple unwanted and undeserved pregnancies. 

I will provide a bullet list of the ideas and feelings I have on abortion, and why it should always be a choice.

• A child brings huge changes to everyone involved, especially the parent or parents.
• The child is not born yet, and in most cases, abortions occur early on (before they are considered alive). If you want to say it is alive from conception, I would counter that the sperm and egg were alive even before pregnancy. If you want to get technical, germs are alive, worms are alive, amoebas are alive, but I am not going out of my way to save and raise them.
• In the cases that an abortion happens late, it is usually due to some awful circumstances. These are often decided to save harm to mother child or both. Many of these were wanted pregnancies, and cause pain that no one would want to go through. Decisions in these circumstances are often drastic no matter what the choices are. 
• When a women finds out they are pregnant there are tremendous decisions to be made, thoughts to consider, planning that must be done. No matter what the choice it all involves sacrifice, and I do think there is a need to do what is best for the child. Not everyone will agree on what is best for the child, but that is why the person bringing the baby into the world or keeping them from this world should make the final decision.
•  We have no real idea how much pain they are feeling, what is happening in their life, why they are considering abortion as an option. 
• There could be many reasons the person does not feel carrying a baby to term is what is best for them or the child. She may be on drugs, she could be in an abusive situation, she may feel trapped, she may not have the financial means, she may be unstable, she may not have the responsibility or know how, she may be afraid, she may have health issues, and the baby may have health issues. The point is, it could be anything or many things, but it is her choice. It is not my choice, not your choice, not the grandparents’ choice, not the Dr.'s choice, and sure as heck is not the government’s choice.
• Adoption could be an option, but it still should be her choice. It can be provided as an option, but can she handle that? This is where I would have a real hang-up. I would want the best possible life for that child should I decide to give birth, but I do not think I could birth a baby and be able to give it up. That is a kind of pain I do not ever want to feel, but then again I would never want to be in a position to feel that I have to have an abortion or adoption. Either way, you are talking immense amounts of pain and sorrow.
• I do believe there are more than enough people in the world, even if you consider places that are under populated, they often do not have the resources, there are not enough people or jobs to sustain the area and people in it. Many of the places that are overpopulated are so because people flock there to gain jobs, resources, housing, etc. This depletes resources, pollutes the air, increases traffic, and causes overcrowding. Not a reason to abort in and of itself, but to that person they may truly feel it is.
• Being irresponsible while having sex will have consequences no matter what. It is not our responsibility to force the consequence we think she should suffer. 18-year sentence or realistically the rest of their life is taking discipline and consequences a bit far. I do not see it as a sentence myself, but some of the people that insist she must pay the consequences for her irresponsibility do seem to see it that way. Anyway, if she has an abortion that is a horrible consequence, if she adopts it is a consequence that could be horrible, and same with keeping and raising a child when you are not ready to be a parent. 
• Which brings me to another unfortunate reality, some people are not ready to be parents, some people should not be parents, and some children just need allot more support than an unprepared person is willing to give.
• I will leave with this last thought. If none of the issues above are valid in the given situation, should that person really be mothering a child? Is that the kind of person that should be forced to be a parent? I do not think so. I honestly feel worse for living children in constant or repeated awful situations, than I do for children that were never born.

So there it is. My view on this dreadful matter. I may have other insight and thought on certain applicable situations, but that sums up most of my opinion. Moreover, my brain is kinda fried right now, so that is enough.

Bus monitor bullied

There is a video on the internet that went viral last week. A sad and anger provoking video called "Making the bus monitor cry." Most likely you've heard of it and maybe watched it. The video shows just how rude, disrespectful, and disgraceful kids can be. Making matters worse, it displays this behavior from middle-school boys towards an elderly bus monitor. Most of us know, that you just don't go around disrespecting the elderly like that, but apparently these kids never got that in their unfabulous training. 

I have watched a lot of the video responses to this video, and read several written responses. People were genuinely hurt by the behavior of these children, and saddened to see a women that could have easily been anyone's grandma, harassed and bullied for 10 minutes straight. The biggest response ringing throughout many of the responses, is a general feeling that children in society today have grown to be completely lacking respect. Many posters, accusing parents of being at fault, and some insisting that had the children been spanked, this would never occur. I understand this response, people's feelings that society is losing its way, and their feelings that children have no respect or proper upbringing. However, I also like to look at the positive side of things when bad things occur. 


Consider this, many responses were from other young children and teens who were just as disgusted and revolted by the behavior of these boys as I was. Most of them spoke very well about the sadness, anger, and frustration they had at seeing other children treating another person this way. Almost all of them repeatedly stressed that you should never disrespect you elders like this. While some had a very hard time containing their temper, as did many of the adults, there where some who maintained their composure very well and spoke very eloquently about their genuine feelings on this matter. Several of them also spoke of the reality that the actions of children like this reflect very badly on their generation and society.


I know many of us want to lament about how proper and respectful children once were. They feel that poor parenting has destroyed the fabric of society, bringing rude disrespectful children that have no comprehension of responsibility. I see these children as one small sliver, creating havoc, wherever they go, and making others look bad. Yet, in many other children, there is a glimmer of hope, of graciousness, intelligence,  empathy, and true respect. If you look for it, if you pay attention, it shines through the brokenness and disrepair in our society. There is a light that comes from some of these children, and I think we need to help them and cultivate them to keep that light going strong. Not to squash them and squelch that light, while putting all our focus on the negative. 

We drain so much energy and emotion into what we feel is wrong with the world. I wonder what could happen if we put most of that energy and emotion into what is going well in this world. Don't we often say that children do bad things because they are looking for attention? Then we turn around and give them exactly what they are looking for, when they are doing the wrong things. Could we possibly give our attention to the good things happening every day, all around us? Could we put our energy, attention, hope, and care into the positive things that are going well? Children tend to learn by example; they live what they learn and learn what they live. So if they live and learn that we put our energy and attention into the good, awesome, positive things and people in this world, maybe being rude, disgraceful, and disrespectful wouldn't seem to be such a huge attention-getter. Still, I see far more light in this generation than many people will give them credit for. 

Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!! My head hurts! Gotta get it out! There is so much stuff that goes on in my head. I need an outlet to get some of it out in the air. What's in my head? Who cares? I just need to vent, discuss, spew, whatever. My other blog is on my education journey, which limits topics I choose to talk about. This blog should, hopefully, provide an outlet for just about any topic. This can also give me some freedom to try out, and experiment with a variety of options for different types of blog posts. It shall be my learning and growing blog tool. I want to try out some video and audio. I will see how it goes. For now, however, I must head to bed.  Good night -_- sleep tight zzzzzzzz don't let the bedbugs bite!